Notes - 14th May 06 |
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| Experiencing life together - The Purpose Driven Life #18 | |||||||||
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Bible passages: What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'fellowship'? In the church, we have reduced the term to mean 'sharing a cup of tea' or 'having a chat'. The Greek word we translate as 'fellowship' is 'koinonia', and literally means 'sharing a common life', experiencing life together. Clearly, it involves so much more than what most of us experience from week to week. Think about your life represented as a circle, and the lives of all the other people in the church, and even the community of Gorgie, as represented by circles: In the last week, how many circles overlap with your life? How many intersect to a large extent? How many have no connection with you at all? We're going to think about how that situation can be changed. But first, why should it be changed? Experiencing life together, includes unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, sympathetic comforting, real interaction. Many of us, however, settle for superficial attempts at these experiences. Why do you think that this is so, if you agree? Warren examines, 'What is the difference between real and fake fellowship?' * In real fellowship people experience authenticity 'Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface level chit chat. It is genuine, heart to heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing'. How can we develop such honesty, openness, vulnerability in our life together? How can we get beyond pretending and covering up? (e.g. 'I'm fine'). How can we begin to really listen and truly be prepared to deal honestly with each other? The Key to this is courage, humility and love that's prepared to accept honesty and truth that can hurt as well as heal. * In real fellowship people experience mutuality, the art of giving and receiving, depending on each other. How good are you at doing this? Are you, perhaps, more comfortable with being in the place of giving support, help to others and find it difficult to admit your needs to others and make yourself vulnerable to receive help? (Read Psalm 133) What in these verses suggests that fellowship is not just something that happens automatically, but requires real effort and commitment on the part of us all? Look at the two vivid pictures in the psalm in v 2 and v3, what do these images tell you about the importance of fellowship issues? * In real fellowship people experience sympathy. Sympathy is not just saying soothing words, it is entering in and sharing the pain of others. Today some call this 'empathy'. Sympathy meets two basic human needs: the need to be understood and the need to have your feelings validated. However, often we are in too much of a hurry to fix things that we don't take time to sympathize with others. We can also be so caught up with our own hurts that self-pity dries up our sympathy for others. Warren identifies 4 levels of sympathy. At which do you tend to relate? Each is deeper than the level before. - Fellowship of sharing together - Fellowship of studying God's word together - Fellowship of serving together - Fellowship of suffering together * In real fellowship people experience mercy. 'Fellowship is a place of grace where mistakes aren't rubbed in, but rubbed out.' You can't have fellowship without forgiveness. Fellowship happens when mercy wins over justice. We all need to receive and give mercy, because we all hurt and are wounded, by other people in the church. Bitterness, grudges, resentment destroy fellowship; grace, mercy and forgiveness build fellowship. Whenever you are hurt by someone, you have a choice to make: Will I use my energy and emotions for retaliation or for resolution? You can't do both. Warren makes an interesting point about the difference between trust and forgiveness: 'Many people are reluctant to show mercy, because they don't understand the difference between trust and forgiveness. Forgiveness is a letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behaviour. Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time.' In other words, God asks us to forgive now, instantly. You will never be asked to forgive someone else more than God has forgiven you. But you are not expected to trust them immediately, nor continue to allow them to hurt you. They must prove that they have changed over time, before you begin to build fellowship with them through developing mutual trust. (Read John 17: 20-26) What in Jesus' prayer suggests that oneness is a process that requires effort and commitment to achieve?
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